Watch 'Ya Big-Ass Back

Well that escalated quickly! Officer Rozay just cancelled two shows in North Carolina, supposedly due to death threats from the Folks. Between this and distributing drugs, the GD's are practically a charitable organization in my book. (Joking, obviously, but if you're a Disciple and you're reading this, thanks for both of those things.)

YouTube has a couple pages worth of search results if you type in "Rick Ross GD", and although some of them are repeats, for the most part, they're different versions of the same message, coming from different states. It sounds like Mr.Roberts may have been given the "opportunity" to agree to be extorted write a check to keep these guys off his back. Also, the few videos I watched all stated that this was not organized by Larry Hoover, which, as far as the law is concerned, is about as effective as those stupid ass Facebook posts about privacy.

I'm Still Here

I'm still around. I'm renaming my blog and working on a relaunch, but I'm nearly done. When I started this, I was aware of the My Little Pony community, a.k.a. 'Bronies', but I didn't think it was that large. I started seeing Twitter followers with cartoon ponies as their avatars who would seemingly unfollow after I posted anything political or music-related. (By the way, I don't me to offend any Bronies out there, I'm just not one.)  I intended for my the name to be a play on the word 'bro' but I clearly should have been a bit more selective, given the near-infinite permutations of bro with real names. (I probably should have had enough foresight to pick a different name entirely, but I'm not creative enough to come up with original material here, so what did you really expect?) Ultimately, I'm leaning toward using my real name, future employment be damned.

 We'll see how it all pans out. I really want to review the shit I liked this year, since everybody does that. I'm still not doing a ranked list. If I have a top-10 list on here, it's going to be a list of other year end lists, in order of pretentiousness. I'm predicting Pitchfork is going to walk away with that honor. 

Yes He Could

You did it Barry! Well done.

He's not the guy I thought he was four years ago, but he's in his second term, so it's time to do the kind of shit that would have kept him from getting reelected.

Weed is now legal in Colorado, and probably Washington, so I'm planning a relocation as we speak. The federal laws still make it illegal, but you can grow up to six plants with no license or prescriptions with no fear of state prosecution. Feds can still bust you, but six plants in a closet aren't the kind of thing that puts you on the DEA radar. There are rumors that Obama's going to "pivot" on the drug war, but we'll see how that works out. I'm not so delusional as to be excited, per se, about the future of this country, but things could be considerably worse. Plenty of unscrupulous individuals are still pulling the strings, but I'm not nearly into conspiracy theories enough to believe that a central consortium decides the presidency. My guess is it's a lot more like The Men Who Built America than The Matrix.

Who knows what will happen. Bill Clinton had his second term all fucked up by the Lewinsky scandal, so I hope Barry watches his back. (Clinton could have been the one to get Bin Laden, possibly years before 9/11, but his cache was completely drained by the impeachment trial.) I think he should use his Chicago connections and figure out a way to get those violent little kids from the Chief Keef and Lil Jojo videos to set their sights on the likes of Mitch McConnell and John Boehner, via YouTube and Twitter beefs. Those two are the biggest roadblocks to legitimate progress, or more accurately, their top donors are.

In 2008, Long Time Comin' was a perfect anthem, but this doesn't feel quite that way. If you, like me, make less than $250K a year, make this your anthem for the next four years, because for all we know, it might be your best chance before this whole American experiment crumbles before our eyes.

Kinda Busy, Mostly High

So, it's been a while. This election shit is heating up, the weather's cooling off. My fantasy football roster has turned over more times than Tony Romo. I've shelved a dozen or so half-finished posts over the last couple months, so maybe I'll revive some of those. Who knows. 

Shoe Game

Teens Arrested | ABC.com

This brings back so many memories. Two teens were arrested in Houston for breaking in to steal Air Jordans, after entering the store through a hole that they cut in the roof. I wish I could say this is the craziest shoe-stealing scheme I've seen, but it's far from it.

Regular readers of this site know I'm into shoes. In my younger days, I worked at a shoe store off and on for several years. My time in the shoe business overlapped with the rise of Nike's retro movement, and I worked enough release dates to tell  you that people loose their fucking minds for these shoes. When the 'Briefcase' Jordan released, a kid was robbed for the shoes off of his feet as well as the carrying case. (The idea of a carrying case for shoes is ridiculous, even in the context of shoe collectors - but clearly an effective marketing strategy. Coincidentally, that shoe was released during MJ's time with the Wizards, and that shoe was much like his career at that point: A diminished product wrapped in unnecessarily flashy packaging.) As discussed here previously, release dates are quite a thing to see. For non-sneakerheads, the sight is downright ridiculous. I've seen people jump over railings, push, punch, yell, fight, even crawl under the gates at the front door, all for the 'opportunity' to purchase overpriced shoes. For those 'lucky' enough to grab a pair, the adventure is nowhere near over. Once the shoes are yours, you now get to experience your own version of "The Warriors" as you attempt to traverse the mall and its parking lot, all the while keeping an eye out for the various groups who now have now put a price on your feet.

And for what? That night, literally everyone and their mom will have on those shoes. Lupe hit the nail on the head when he said that the only people you're showing off for are your "...fellow loyal customers". Not to mention that these are only a big deal until the next shoe drops, and that's usually less than a month away. By then, you'll see the same people in line, many with last-month's highly coveted sneakers, now dirtied and creased. /rant

So anyway, these kids entered the store through a hole they cut in the roof. That's definitely an advanced move, but it's not the first time it's been done. The same thing happened at the Foot Locker in East St. Louis a few years ago. In that case they used a stolen circular saw to cut through, and by dumb luck they just barely missed cutting into a power line. A similar technique is to break in through the service entrance found in the back of mall stores. Some people cut out the middleman and just rob the train or delivery truck. Numerous people, frustrated with the demeaning nature of retail employment, find themselves involved in inside jobs. (For the most part, these are usually poorly planned and executed, and come off a lot more like "Half Baked" than "Ocean's 11".) Trust me, if you can dream it, somebody's probably tried it.

Sadly, these kids will probably end up locked away for a while. Coincidentally, these kids will probably end up working prison jobs for pennies per hour, just like the kids who made the shoes in the first place.

He Got Game

Dream Team 2K13 | HipHopWired

As you've probably heard, Jay-Z is the 'executive producer' of NBA 2K13. Up to this point, the only reason to care has been the improved soundtrack for this year. Now, though, we find out that Jay has supposedly orchestrated the inclusion of both the 2012 and 1992 olympic teams. Hopefully this sets the record straight about which team was better, in case you actually believe this year's team could beat the original 'Dream Team.'

The most interesting part of this story is the inclusion of Charles Barkley and the absence of Scottie Pippen. Sir Charles is not a member of the NBA's Retired Player Association, (which is a thing, btw) so he had to negotiate separately, but will be included in the game. Pippen, however, will not. This is weird because he is a member of the association, so you would assume he would have the same deal as any other member. I have a feeling that Jordan may have pulled a few strings on this one. Remember earlier this year, when Scottie made the statement that Lebron might be better than Mike? Something tells me His Airness wanted to make a statement, but not you know, with his words and stuff. Since MJ and Jay seem to have pretty similar career management styles, I'm sure Jay was on board with the move.

If anything, Jay is likely taking notes. He's probably already planning a Rocafella Records greatest hits album with 9 Memph Bleek tracks and no Beans or Freeway.

Rrrrruuunnhhh!

In the newest Rolling Stone, dropping on Friday, Rozay will finally speak on his career as a corrections officer. In the past, he's alluded to using his position to gain access to Noriega, (the real Noriega) and thus coke connections. He likes to make it sound like he can't speak on the issue due to possible legal consequences, but does anybody actually believe that? What's next - is he gonna tell us that DJ Khaled represents his connections in the Middle East? Something tells me he wouldn't be doing this if he really was ever on the radar of law enforcement, because it tends to cause problems. Just ask this guy:

The Real

The most realistic rap video I've seen in quite some time.

Weed is a Helluva Drug Too

A fur coat with no shirt, and his facial expression is still the most unsettling part of this picture.

Watch out Rozay

Freeway Ricky | HipHopDx

"Freeway" Ricky Ross, a.k.a The Real Rick Ross, lost yet another lawsuit against William Roberts (Rozay) for stealing his name and identity.For those not familiar with the 'work' of the real Rick Ross (you probably just like how it smells), let's discuss.

(For the purpose of clarity, when I say Ross, I mean the real one. I'll refer to The Human Wing Stop by any number of his other monikers.)

Ricky Ross is a former LA drug kingpin. And I mean a real kingpin, not some rapper with bricks photoshopped on his mixtape cover. He earned the nickname 'Freeway' due to his proliferation of drug houses along LA's freeways. At his peak, he made an estimated $2 - $3 million off cocaine per day across the country. Although not the inventor of crack, he helped to spread knowledge of the necessary techniques to convert cocaine into it's more profitable form. (I'm sure I read it somewhere, but can't seem to find it now, that he popularized the use of microwaves for making crack.) Before his name was used by rappers, Ross became famous for his links to the Iran-Contra scandal. As originally detailed by Gary Webb in his 'Dark Alliance' series of articles, Ross was a part of a CIA plot to funnel Nicaraguan cocaine into America. Over the years, more elaborations of this story have surfaced, such as 'Powder Burns', by former CIA agent Celerino Castillo, and the Kevin Booth documentary 'American Drug War.' (Quick side note here: Gary Webb died of a supposed suicide in 2004, although he died from two gunshots to the head, so make of that what you will.) Long story slightly shorter, Rick Ross is part of the reason people claim the government pushed crack into black neighborhoods.(The other reason is that they did.)

Rick was incarcerated from 1996 until 2009, during which time both Freeway and Rawse became popular rappers. I mention Freeway only to illustrate that Ross could sue him as well, but hasn't. I've never heard Ross say it, but I get the feeling that he doesn't mind people taking his look, (bald with a beard is hard to pull off anyway) or his nickname, but taking his government name and spinning tales of cocaine superstardom is where he draws the line. When the pictures of Rozay as a prison guard surfaced, Ross ratcheted up his pursuit of financial compensation for Rawse's 'identity theft.' Several years and three decisions later, Ross is still empty-handed. In this brief clip of an interview, he points out that the judge in his latest case was formerly a lawyer for Universal (which is essentially the only music label in existence.)



So now, people in LA are ready to do something to The Bawse. Suge Knight, who apparently does care  if you steal his look, and others are ready to put a 'no fly zone' on Officer Ricky for LA. How that would work, I'm not sure, but I have a feeling that moving coke like Ross did means that you know people in airports, or maybe just people with guns. Somebody should just steal Rozay's 'seizure kit' and let the chips fall as they may. (No pun intended)

Weed

Having just hit 420 views, I feel this is appropriate. From 2006, when Super Deluxe still existed.

Bitch I'm MC Hammer

'Ye is a True Gentleman | GlobalGrind

Damn Yeezy! I really try to stay away from talking about this couple, because I believe that Will McAvoy is correct, and that reality telivision/news is fueling the downfall of society. But seriously, dude is wearing leather Hammer pants, with a motherfucking tank top, to a Broadway show. 

I have no doubt this outfit was expensive, because Ye is only validated by items of expense and exclusivity, but expensive don't mean classy, and vice versa. High fashion has long been a home of 'King's New Clothes' mentality (if you don't understand fashion, it's because you can't afford it), and weirdness for the sake of weirdness. Hell, the entire hipster aesthetic seems to be based on intentional ugliness, but this is just too much. 

Maybe I'm asking for too much. I guess a picture of Kim next to this outfit is still much less repulsive than a picture of her next to Ray J's junk. (No Marques Houston.)

Lemme See Ya Grill

via HipHopWired

Ryan Lochte, the swimmer who could finally make people shut up about Michael Phelps, was told he would not receive his medal if he took the podium while wearing the sweet grill pictured above. What a great way to show the world what kind of class Americans have. It's like the spirit of Tommie Smith and John Carlos if they were all about fake shit. Is this guy any relation to Riff Raff? You be the judge:

Straight Outta Cash

As you may have heard, Young Buck, (formerly?) a member of G-Unit, currently owes the IRS close to $200K in taxes. Well, maybe more like $147K now, since the feds apparently auctioned off all of his property of any worth, netting close to $53 stacks in the process.

Some sources stated that the name "Young Buck" was sold as well, but that turned out to be false. (Who the fuck would buy that?) The majority of the items were electronics and jewelry, including a custom "615" chain and medallion. This is different from the spinning "YB" chain, which is different from the spinning G-Unit chains that 50 gave to the crew. (Although, I believe that as a rule you had to get robbed for those chains, unless you were Tony Yayo.) The real bidding war was for hard drives, which normally wouldn't be worth much, but the bidders believed that the drives contained music that they would be able to sell. (If it was that easy, Young Buck would actually sell music.) Unfortunately for these bidders, (but fortunately for anyone with ears) the drives had all been wiped clean already.

Somehow, most of these items were purchased and returned to Buck. His manager purchased the chain and several other items back for him, but I have a feeling that these purchases are all being charged to Buck, with interest. So if you missed out on this auction, you'll probably have another chance before long.

Here's some news coverage of the event. The most hilarious part is probably the white guy who's a "hardcore Young Buck fan." (Pause).

Maybe This Album Will Come Out

Jay Electronica Shares Album Tracklist | Pitchfork

The tracklist for Jay Electronica's album has been posted, what that means, who knows exactly? It's always odd to me that these are even released. Ostensibly, this is to pique interest in the album, although it seems like it only makes it easier to search for the individual tracks and download them. I assume these releases are aimed at critics/bloggers as much, if not more so, than the fans. In this case it seems like The Illuminati's Favorite Rapper is letting everyone know that: a) He's going to have some marketable tracks with Kanye and Puff, and b) He's letting him do some "weird" shit too, with Erykah Badu and the like.

Oddly, there's a feature with Ronald Reagan, which would lead me to believe that they used a sample of his voice and thought it would be clever to list it this way. Kanye did the same thing with "Otis" last year, although with all the sampling he does, that seemed odd too. I couldn't find any proof that was due to a legal issue with the Redding estate, but Ye never made a statement about this being out of respect or his "genius shared vision" or such. Considering he sampled three different James Brown songs on "Gotta Have It", but didn't list JB as a feature, you would think something's up. Although that might be because, as noted fingerbanging expert Too $hort once quipped about the Godfather of Soul, "they used it all up and didn't pay the man." But I digress.

Although "Dear Moleskine" is missing, the "official" release of that track has a huge gap where another guest verse would likely go, and I suspect that could be one of those "iTunes exclusives". (Maybe somebody else was the guest verse, and legal wrangling or other industry nonsense got in the way.) Although, who cares anymore if an album is missing a track, if you can just download the song anyway? (I'm sure Just Blaze just wants that track to be on somebody's album, considering his financial difficulties, as well as his video game addiction as evidenced in the "Fade to Black" documentary.) Fair enough. Hopefully the album sees the light of day, or at least the internet.

Here's one possible route they could go, with a lifted Kendirck Lamar verse, and a "feature" from Malcolm X:

Hey Y'all!

Hey everyone. I've been away doing my actual job, or at least acting like it. What's been happening? It's hot as fuck out there, pretty much wherever you live, except for Seattle or Canada apparently. It's hot enough that I can't finish a large slurpie before it turns into half a cup of super-concentrated chemical juice (white people problems, I know), but I'm certainly not complaining because I have air conditioning. I've worked many a job in this weather, and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure I never have to do that again. I grew up with parents who grew up without air, plus that shit was expensive, so they were pretty selective about turning it on. As the oldest I used my position to secure a spot in front of a box fan. For my first few years on my own, I was poor enough to have to run the air only when necessary, but had good enough credit (or bad enough, it was Discover) to get an air conditioner. That apartment was hot, but my heart goes out to you if you're living without AC or you're homeless. (I don't pray because I'm an atheist, and it's not like it would matter anyway. I do see several  homeless people asking for money pretty regularly, and I give two bucks and change to them in this weather, which is the only charity I completely trust. At least with that they can go into McDonald's and buy a big drink, and hang out indoors, since they're now customers. Or maybe just go buy Mad Dog. Either way, they feel a tiny bit better, at least temporarily Obviously, I'm not saving the world here.) So anyway, what else is going on? Time for a lightning round!

• Adidas let a douchebag design a shoe with a handcuff, then cancelled them when people pointed out the obvious racist nature of such a product. This one really bugged me because I am a bit of a sneakerhead, but not one who's standing in any lines for shoes, or tracking down numbered editions. That shit is dumb Adidas should've known that these shoes would be fucking stupid, because the other Jeremy Scott shoes were also fucking stupid. They include the ones with ridiculous tongues, the ones with wings. The most concise comment on the topic had to be Byron Crawford, who pointed out how anyone who pays the $325 that these cost would actually be a slave. The first one here is the notorious shackle, the rest are other examples of Mr. Scott and Adidas' collaborative douchebaggery.

   

• Bath salts are fucking everywhere! (Really, they've been everywhere for a minute, but the news and the police know about it now, and everyone's ready to go full retard on this issue.) The most publicized story was probably the guy yelling about Biggie and Pac in Georgia, but just look at how many different instances show up in a google search for the past week. So anyway, this is going to be a thing for at least the rest of the summer, and who knows how much longer.
• And how could I not talk about the Affordable Care Act? (You know, Romneycare.) I'm writing something longer on this right now, so I don't want to go too deep on this one, but I'll give you the broad strokes. (Ha, broad strokes.) Anyway, I have a preexisting condition, so this is a game changer for me. The larger impact is interesting here for several reasons. This is a plan that requires you to have insurance (the mandate), and if you don't, you either have to pay a penalty if you can afford insurance, or you go on medicare. (There's more to it, but that's basically it.) Republicans are pissed because this has been their plan for 20 years, and they can't really do anything about it this fall because Romney enacted the same plan in Massachusetts and it's basically worked. So overall, watch out for some seriously incorrect descriptions of this bill, because the primary mission of the current republican party is to oppose everything Barry does.
• Chris Rock got attacked on Twitter for telling the truth on the 4th of July. He pointed out that slaves were still slaves on the original Independence Day, and was promptly shouted at by numerous butthurt white people. He continued to not give a fuck.

Well, that's enough for now. Watch for more coming soon, because it looks like my job is on cruise control most of this summer. With this heat, you already know some dumb shit is gonna pop off. Ride out to Danny Brown's Grown Up.

Who Do You Think You Are?

I'm starting a new series of articles, to be sprinkled about this blog like cocaine at a crime scene. I'm gonna talk a bit about why I do certain things, or say things the way I do.

I'm going to start with the idea of ratings. Ratings like movies,television, or video games? No, ratings like "Best of All Time" or various "Top" whatever lists. I fucking hate these kinds of ratings, because at some point, we're splitting hairs. Realistically, if we could possibly come up with a list of, let's say, the 10 greatest albums of all time, how much better would any one album be than the next? How would you feel about an album that was at best, number 11 of all time? What if that album was your favorite album of all time? Would you care what some asshole list-maker said? Probably not, but if you did, you might email to the author to let them know. Or more likely, complain on the internet...with a link to the article...(see where I'm going with this?)...and get pageviews for the site that made the list. You'd be making someone money who only made you mad, thus losing twice. 

Even before pageviews existed, sparking debate has long been a go-to tactic for interviewers. Every so often, Mike Greenberg will point out that the best way to fill radio time is to ask people "Who's the best team/player in [fill in name of sport]?" and let the guests argue. (Since it's Mike and Mike, there's a 80% chance they'll be talking about football, but the specific sport is unimportant.) Take that same example and replace best athlete/team with best artist/album and you've just created enough content to fill several issues of Rolling Stone. 

My point is that I don't like rating anything in numerical order because it inevitably turns into a fucking circle jerk. It's like if you charged people admission to watch you masturbate, and then the audience started having an orgy, which you taped and sold for profit, Joe Francis style. On top of that, I think most of these lists have at least a couple entries designed to troll the readers. It's the same reason Lil B is on a lot of lists lately. 

So, for these reasons, I won't be making a lot of ordered lists of artists, albums, songs, or videos. My rating system is basically pass/fail. Either I like something, or I don't. Wasting time trying to decide if I like one thing more than another is a waste of my time and yours, and ultimately accomplishes nothing. I'd rather take time thinking up new ways to describe how terrible Drake is. 

Danny Brown Defines the Term "Real"

Check out this short documentary/interview with Danny Brown from Pitchfork TV. He takes a camera crew around with him and his entourage for a few days in Detroit, apparently in early February. If you're unaware of Danny Brown at this point, I really don't know what you're doing with your life. After Bonnaroo I imagine his stock will rise considerably, and deservedly so. 


In this video, you get to see where Danny's from. Detroit has been fucked up for so long, there's a joke about it in "Airplane". What I really wonder is what life was like for him as a kid. If Lupe caught a hard time in Chicago for skateboarding, what the fuck did people think of Danny's style? My guess is that he was that dude that smoked so much weed, nobody thought twice about how he looked. Considering half my friends in high school looked  like the guy you see at 3:20 into the video, I can relate.


A decent chunk of this video is dedicated to a concert performance where it appears that a shady promoter at least lied to him, and at worst didn't pay him. Which, by the way, comes as no surprise to anyone who's ever dealt with a promoter.


His speaking voice is different from his rapping voice, but that's almost necessary. Although, it would make for much more interesting interviews if he talked like that. If you've heard Danny's earlier mixtapes, you've probably noticed that his high-pitched delivery has evolved over the years. (All the way back to 2007, which is a lifetime in internet backpack rap time.) He's honed his delivery to a point where he really takes advantage of his ability to fluctuate both his pitch and sustain. (I'm using the term sustain here because I don't know shit about how to sing, but that's what I would call it with a guitar or keyboard. What I'm referring to is how long he stretches the words, and I didn't feel like "loose or tight" quite described what I meant. Anyway.) Allow me to explain with the following diagram.

As you can see, the quadrants represent the intersection of pitch and sustain. In a song like "Blunt After Blunt" he bounces around between 3 and 4, while slowly rising throughout, then stretches to the far corner quadrant of 2 with "takin' all they hooooeeeeesss." (And that's all within the first 50 seconds of the track.) On freestyles, he usually hovers around the middle of 1, where he was for more of his early stuff. Most of "Greatest Rapper Ever" is right there, with some bounces down to 4. 


As I smoke a bowl and read this, it appears that I may have taken this description way too far. But, that's how my mind "works". I'm pouring a glass of Jack and deciding at the end whether to hit publish on this whole over-analysis. Here are some videos that I'm just gonna watch again myself, if this only ever sees the recycle bin.

P.S. - I see Adult Swim is running a bump for the new Killer Mike and El-P albums. Seriously, listen to them both. It's the closest thing we'll ever see to "Fear of a Black Planet" or "AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted" again. 

Well...

My twitter account is currently suspended, because clearly I don't know what I'm doing. I've gone through the process to get it restored, but I hear that can take a week or so. I've got a couple new things in the works, and next week we'll get back to talking (complaining) about music.

Why So Serious?

Here's that new video for "No Church in the Wild" off WTT. It's directed by Romain Gavras, who you may remember as the director of M.I.A.'s "Born Free". (The ginger genocide video.) Several of his videos are set in a dystopian future, somewhere between now and when Mad Max takes place. In this future, Jay-Z is a freedom fighter, possibly picking up from where he left off in "Run This Town".

Jay's semi-endorsement of the occupy movement has been pretty curious. He had those t-shirts with "occupy all streets", but then it turned out he wasn't donating any of the money, because celebrity charity rule #1 is: Fuck you, pay me. Okay, that's not always the case, but it often is. In this case it was surprising because Jay claims he was "the first person that wrote checks to Columbine."

I have to think that Kanye didn't anticipate this video when he wrote those lyrics. I figure he was thinking about wearing a really snug outfit with a pair of Yeezy II's, probably wearing sunglasses in the dark.

Does this feel really over-manufactured to anyone else? I can't put my finger on it, but something doesn't feel right here. Anyway, moving on.

How was your weekend?

Hopefully better than this.

Conspiracy theory: The rise of zombie-themed entertainment was designed to prepare citizens for the inevitable. Better theory: This guy was fuuuuuucked uuuuup.


The police were originally saying that Rudy Eugene was on "a powerful form of LSD", but what does that even mean? A "form" of LSD? If you know anything about tripping on acid, you know this doesn't even sound plausible. PCP on the other hand, now that sounds quite likely. In my experience, if someone is tripping, acting violent, and getting completely naked, there's a stong possibility that PCP is involved. It doesn't usually end up like "when they caught T-Bone, dancing with that rabbit."

Good times on PCP.

One thing I find troubling about this is the police explanation. They were awfully quick to blame this "powerful" form of LSD, with no toxicology report. What "form" of LSD was he talking about? I've read a good portion of erowid.org, especially the parts about hallucinogens, and I've never heard of this. The follow-up reports are mentioning "bath salts", which should absolutely not be confused with acid. 

Most of you probably know of bath salts and "spice blends". For the unfamiliar, lets discuss briefly.  Because drugs are fun, but illegal, people often find substitutes. Years ago, a scientist at Clemson, while researching the active components in marijuana, synthesized several synthetic compounds that are "similar" to those found in weed. Similar, but not the same. (Rather than name them all uniquely, he used his initials, so they're all called JWH, followed by a number.) Somebody saw the possibilities here, and started selling dried herbs (Wizard Smoke and the like) sprayed with these compounds. Anyone who's tried K2, or "spice blends", will tell you that compared to weed it's similar, but not the same. For the last couple years, these products have skyrocketed in popularity, mostly due to the fact that every mom and pop gas station in rural America seems to stock them. (Spice and several other "research chemicals" are available from overseas websites as well.) While some states have started banning these "fake" drugs, enforcement is spotty, and there are so many of these compounds that banning one just makes another one more popular. 

So what if you like snorting powders that amp you up, but want a drug you can buy at a convenience store? Well then, bath salts are for you. (I am being sarcastic. Don't consume this shit ever, or at least if you do, don't blame me if you try to eat someone's face.) 

So what's in bath salts, you say? Who fucking knows. Seriously, the range of ingredients that have been found in these drugs is ridiculous. Mostly, they will contain at least one upper, possibly a numbing agent, and some psychoactive component. At least if you actually do cocaine, you know that the adulterants are probably something along the lines of baby aspirin or laxative. (Breakfast of champions, right?) Also, drug dealers have a vested interest in you not dying. (Although it's been pointed out before, and I can't remember the exact line, but a junkie dying usually brings you more customers.) More importantly, actual drug dealing is illegal, while selling you bath salts is quasi-legal. The way the law is set up, using a chemical for something other than its intended purpose actually makes you the criminal. Long story short, if you ingest something that has a label saying "Don't ingest this", then the seller is probably legally safe.

What does all of this mean in the long run? Cops and reporters don't know shit about drugs, or at least haven't done acid. So, if you want to know about drugs, try talking to someone who's done drugs. Or at least read up on the topic. There's an amazing tool for that, called Google. (Difficult, I know.) Also, expect a huge scare campaign concerning bath salts. Now that these are on the radar of the news and police, expect white parents to freak the fuck out. (Expect more minorities to get frisked also.) This has happened before, and will happen again. Without going too far down the rabbit hole here, I want to point out that the image of a scary black man on [insert drug name here] has been a powerful tool in shaping drug laws in America. I suspect this will somehow become a tool for keeping pot illegal given the current political climate. (Trust me, I have plenty more to say on the topic of drug legalization, but we'll get to that another time.) For now, watch out for bath salt zombies.

What's Beef?

Beef is when you send your enemy an angry tweet. 

Or Does It?

http://www.complex.com/music/2012/05/lupe-fiasco-says-issue-with-pete-rock-not-resolved

So never mind about this being over. Apparently, Dwayne Wayne still has beef, and he feels like Pete pulled a sneak move. This interview brings to light something that hasn't been discussed in a while: sampling rights. According to Lu, the original sample for T.R.O.Y. was never cleared, ever. 

Gather 'round kids, and let me tell you about a magical time in Hip Hop. Once, long ago, you could use samples with no regulation. Well, more like nobody was paying attention. Before artists realized (or cared) that producers were using their tracks for samples, nobody had to pay to use them. It wasn't like producers were being shady to the artists intentionally, there was no precedent for this at the time. "Diggin in the crates" of records for cool snippets to expand into tracks was, and still is, a rite of passage for "real" hip hop producers. (Once apon a time, before he started listening to Justice, Swizz Beats was reviled for disrespecting the art of sampling in an interview.) Finding that obscure sample and flipping it is the producer's equivalent to snagging a pair of exclusive kicks. (And I mean real exclusives, like limited-run, Japan-only colorway J's, not some sponge-bob, flea market joints.) For a brief time in the late 80's, snitching on someone's sample (telling people what song it came from) was as bad as snitching to police, partly because it could financially wreck your entire career. The Beastie Boys' Paul's Boutique would never get released today. Even with an unlimited budget, you might not be able to track down all of the rights' holders, and even then, you would get destroyed on any residuals. The most notorious example of this is the song "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve. Basically, they'll never make another dime off of the biggest song they ever made. Supposedly, they can't even put it on a greatest hits album.

So anyway, when Pete Rock originally made this song, some parts of it were apparently never properly cleared. In order for Lu to use the original beat, he would have to clear the samples, so the beat had to be remade. (This has been done before, although an example escapes me at the time.) If you listen to the track, you can tell it isn't quite the same (in a bad way). So whatever actually happened, now Lu is so upset he had to call Sway (while he was driving through a tunnel, apparently) to talk about the whole situation. 

This is a bad look for everyone involved. Ima steer clear of this whole nonsense going forward, because what hip hop needs is not more fucking drama. Pete Rock is one of the greatest producers of all time. His influence on Kanye, RZA, and Just Blaze, to name a few, is obvious in their sound. He's also old, at least by rap standards, and this is just not helping people think otherwise. Lupe is one of the best lyricists out today, but also a noted enthusiast of some lame shit (Linkin Park, for example), so when he goes off like this, it doesn't look good at all. I'm not saying that you should make every decision based on what people will think of you, I'm saying you should be talking up your future projects, not getting involved in beef that makes people think your future projects probably suck. Maybe this is just how you "dumb down" marketing.

P.S. - Hear the original that Pete sampled in the clip from The Boondocks below.

Beef Dies Quickly in the Digital Age

So Lupe did a cover of (T.R.O.Y.) and Pete Rock was not amused. Lupe claimed he reached out to Pete before he did the track. Pete claimed he wasn't angry with Lupe, but the producer. Lupe was like wtf?..


Annnnnnnnd, then it was over. Now they're going to collab. I was gonna go into much more depth about the concept of beef, but this was over before it started. Also, this developing feud between Weezy and Pusha T looks to provide plenty of fodder. So, like the cops used to say before they got a license to taze everyone, move along folks, nothing to see here.

Jay Electronica's Album

is "Scary Good"

Link (via HipHopDX)

According to Jay-Z, the Jay Electronica album is nearly finished, and it's crazy good. So we'll probably never hear it, or it will come out in five years. Lyrically, the dude is just ridiculous. So, should we be excited that this album is "Coming Soon"? I would like to be, but here are some reasons I'm not. 

1. This is coming out on Jay-Z's label. Hov might be the Mike Jordan of rap, but he also might be the Mike Jordan of owners too. Do you remember how life was for Def Jam artists under Jay's reign? Marketing budgets? Yeah right. 
2. What did you think of J. Cole's album? I don't think anyone necessarily hated that album, but I also don't many people remember it.
3. He's too good as a mixtape rapper. Is there such thing as a good mixtape rapper with good albums also? Wale's Attention Deficit is probably the best official debut album by a mixtape rapper, and even that one let plenty of people down. (We'll revisit this issue down the road.) 

I sincerely hope this album is great. Realistically, if Hova gave this dude beats from his usual producers, Electronica could legitimately make a classic. (Whatever the fuck that means anymore.) I wonder if what Hov likes about this guy is the same thing that he fears - he's weird. What I mean is that Hov's got a reputation for liking indie bands like Animal Collective. (Or at least attending their shows to promote the gentrification of Brooklyn.) Most of Animal Collective's music sounds like an orgy of noise involving Sonic Youth and Pink Floyd. And Electronica is weird, at least by rap standards, and doesn't really have singles. The closest he's had to a marketable single is "Exhibit C", and that doesn't even have a hook. I personally love it when songs forgo a hook in favor of pretty much anything else, but the independent promoters who pay DJ's to play the kind of nonsense that "Urban" radio stations play don't. (Nikki Minaj featuring Drake anyone?) Even Hova's, ahem, "connections" might not be enough to help market a rapper who once made a fifteen-minute song where he rapped over a beat that was made entirely of samples from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. You know Hov knows how to "sprinkle in...to keep the registers ringing", but hopefully on this one he just "lets 'em walk through the hood." I've got low expectations, but high hopes for this project. If it never comes out, I hope we at least get a leak of the unfinished work, since that would probably be better than the finished product. 

Check out an example of the unmarketable greatness:

Brony Invades Twitter (and Nobody Cares)

What's up fuckers? I had to start a Twitter account so I can say stupid shit as soon as it enters my head. 

P.S.  - Fuck North Carolina.

Tumble me! Tuumble me! Tuuumble me!

Brony Danza on Tumblr

Ayo, I'm Back!

What's happening everybody? I'm back after two weeks of feeling like straight garbage. Okay, well I was actually sick for the last week, and just really lazy for a week before that.  What did I miss? Time for a lightning round:

• Yesterday marked one year since the US government took credit for Bin Laden's death. (Or since George W. killed him with his bare hands in Iraq, according to teabaggers.)
• Prosecutors in Florida finally press charges against George Zimmerman. (Or, exactly what they would have done in the first place if he was black, or Trayvon was white.)
• Goodie Mob debuted a new song in a performance that Goodie Mob fans mostly found depressing. (Is he getting back at them for the title of that album they did without him?)

Sadly, both Dick Clark and Levon Helm passed during my absence. Dick Clark gets respect in my book for having an integrated audience on television, when people openly said the kind of racist things that would get even Glenn Beck fired today. Helm is most remembered as a guitarist, drummer, singer, and mandolin (among other instruments) player for The Band. After his cancer diagnosis in 1998, he fought back in truly inspiring fashion, performing regularly in the Midnight Ramble at his home studio to raise funds for his treatment. He went on to produce multiple solo albums for his remaining years. 

Both will be missed.

I leave you with "The Weight."

Dave Chappelle Predicted the Future

  
If you haven't heard already, which I doubt if you're reading this, a hologram* of Tupac performed with Snoop on Sunday at Coachella. In a related note, he wrote this song in '94**.

Where to begin with this? Every story I've seen mentions the same basic facts about the production: it cost between $100K and $400K, and was created over four months by the same effects company that aged Brad Pitt as Benjamin Button and put the Dragon Tattoo on Rooney Mara. The weirdest part is that it was completely CGI. With the outrageous amounts of unreleased music he left behind, you would think someone had miles of video footage. At times, the mannerisms were spot on, but there were times where he came off more "like CJ in San Andreas**."  Also, oddly enough, this was originally going to be Nate Dogg, but they decided to use Pac instead.

So what next? As I watched this, my first thought was, "How long before this catches on?" My next: "How bad is this going to get?" How long until the original members of Lynyrd Skynyrd "tour"? How long before Jimi, Janice, Jim, and Kurt perform together as "Forever 27" at a Super Bowl? (Opening act: Amy Winehouse.) Better (or maybe worse) yet, how long before kids at home can do this? Will the next Odd Future video come into your living room and destroy it? 


The amount of inner conflict I feel watching this is roughly equal to the amount of irony in a holographic image* shouting "Feel me!" On one hand I read that Afeni Shakur is proud to see her son perform, on the other hand, it feels creepy as hell. I wondered for a moment how Tupac would feel about this, but he made it quite clear that he wanted to have his music released long after his death. Had he any idea that such a technology would exist, he probably would have recorded literally years of said video footage. Remember when Wayne went to jail? How many videos and features came out while he was locked up? Hell, he had at least one studio album and several mixtapes. Aaaggghh! I just realized that he knows about this technology and is probably planning ahead! Weezy's hologram is gonna be selling kid's cereal to your grandkids' grandkids!


Ultimately, the question on the mind of anyone who makes money from entertainment is whether you'll buy a ticket to see this. Based on the price, it's not necessarily much more expensive than having to pay an actual artist. Now, this was far too short a performance to warrant a one-off expense of up to 400 stacks, but CGI is expensive as hell. The first 15 seconds of the Battleship trailer probably cost that much. I'm sure you could use retouched video for considerably less. For that initial investment though, it sounds like it may be relatively cheap to replay the same performance each time. I'm sure it takes some sophisticated equipment, but again, that's an initial investment. Dre's already announced that he's taking "Pac" on the road, so it's a matter of time before we see Nate Dogg, or even,...I can't believe I just thought of this...EAZY MUTHAFUCKIN E! 


Gonna walk away on that note.


Notes:
*This wasn't an actual hologram, but rather a Pepper's Ghost, an old magician's trick.

**